Category:Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts is an essential foundation for influence and leadership

When we resolve conflicts without damaging relationships we are viewed as reasonable, open-minded, and flexible.

Approaching conflict from a win-lose position or a conflict avoidance position will damage relationships. In the first case, the conflict will linger causing future problems, in the second case the people may be viewed as incompetent and without influence.

The following factors are of importance in conflict resolution : self awareness in a conflict situation, self control in the situation, active listening where we try to understand the other persons point of view, keeping respect and dignity (social bonding) always in mind, thinking of ways to collaborate with the other person.

To be more self aware we ask ourselves what am I feeling in this situation, what is my typical response in this kind of situation, what is my intention in this situation, how can i prevent my emotions from hijacking my rational brain?

For better self control we ask ourselves what is my potential impact on others with my behaviour, what do I need to do to prevent my emotions taking over.

To better understand the other person, we ask ourselves am I listening actively, am I listening without regard to proving my point of view how can I use my empathy to understand this situation, can I relate this to my previous life experiences.

To bond better socially we ask ourselves am I respecting this person, are my words and actions building bonds or destroying them

For better collaboration we ask ourselves, how can I invite this person into the solution, how can this person's perspective be included to solve the problem.

( from The EQ Difference by Adele B.Lynn, published by American Management Association,2005)